Monday, May 21, 2012

Asbab

Bismillahirahmanirahim..


ehem,how do i start this?so long ey?
this blog dah naik bersawang,(btw,did u know,institusi kekeluargaan yang paling rapuh ialah keluarga labah-labah?since the child will kill their mother when they're able to feed themselves,especially the black widow species..) rasa-rasa macam dah kena campak blog bersawang ini dalam longkang.it felt like yesterday, that i frst posted,back then,sweet perak.how time flies.and yet, i were still the same.unmoving.Naudzubillah.But u know,me is being me lah,sangat sayang,cannot let go this secret treasure of yours truly.ehehe 

Saya pun taktau atas sebab apa saya masih menulis,masih menaip di atas keyboard, dan sebentar lagi masih menekan butang publish, i seriously have no idea of what am i doing, but somehow,i have to share.to tell, the journey that i've begun, in search of finding myself,my passion,truly where my heart lies (InsyaAllah).

As for most of u yang confirm-confirm la taktau hehe, i'm in a phase of life that i love to call as transition.a hijrah,to be a better person,insyaAllah.this might come to u as 'oh yeke' or 'oh,erm x kesahlah,whatever' or 'oh,okbye' whatever u love to call, but somehow, i feel like i'd love to share it with u,this is like a declaration,that "i've been reverted' to islam (no, not that i'm not muslim before, this is like renewing my iman,to islam,which i embrace 'seadanya' before.) this also, will act as my reminder, my barrier, later, that i've been here, so i shouldnt've look back.(May Allah strengthen my iman.ameen)

I still remember, few months ago, i'm in the state of hallucinating myself with erm,i don't know how to describe it, perhaps we shall call it jiwa kacau.I seems fine,i laugh, i cry, i stare,and that's it.there's emotion, but no soul involved.Along that time, i started to ask myself with a question one by one.celaru, the questions,unanswered questions that lingered around my head macam banyak sangat.yang keep popping is 'Sampai bila nak macam ni?' macam ni merujuk pada my then lifestyle.Iya, bertudung, solat, tapi that's it,tudung tu tak bawa kesan seculas pun pada hati, solat masih tak mampu nak kawal diri dari mengata orang, sumpah seranah orang.Then come the next questions.Do i doing it correctly,or i just doing it for the sake of 'melepas batuk di tangga'.Then satu-satu mula display, satu-satu mintak jawapan, It was like.u know..let me explain u briefly about this Q&A within my head,

Q: yan, kenapa pakai tudung?
A: sebab Allah suruh?
Q: oh sebab Allah suruh.mana buktinya?
A: ada dalam Al-Quran?
Q:so?setakat bagitau ada dalam Al-Quran?even ur 5 years old niece can answer that.i wanted the proof.what surah?ayat ke berapa?can u answer that?u can't don't u?

:(

Q: u are what u believe in, does u act according to what u believe in?
A:yes.kot.
Q:so u r sure u will be submitted to heaven once izrael comes?
A: ntah,i don't know :(

For so long, saya leka, saya terikut-ikut,betul tak if saya katakan  agama islam dalam diri kita ini cuma agama ikut-ikutan,orang sembahyang,kita sembahyang, orang tinggal sembahyang,kita tinggal sembahyang,sometimes without solid reasons, padahal kita mengaku mempercayai syurga dan neraka.dan lazimnya kita mengakui balasan orang tidak bersembahyang itu azab maha pedih di neraka,atau apa benar?kita ini tergolong munafik?mulut berkata lain sementelah hati berkata lain,lantas terlambang dek perbuatan kita.betul kan?Masya Allah, may Allah saves us dear brothers and sisters :(



Alright, masing-masing mesti ada cerita sendiri kan?macam,tak kan tiba-tiba.like so tiba-tiba.Actually in my case, it is,memang tiba-tiba.the urge tu datang pagi, and the significant event come later that night.the night that were still fresh in my head.












So this is my asbab.dengan izin Allah.

kita asyik merungut gaji kita tak cukup, pemimpin kita menindas, negara kita tak maju, sampai kita lupa nak bukak mata luas-luas, about others, sampai lupa nak timbang tara, keperitan tahanan kita dan tahanan di luar sana.asyik larut dalam dunia kita, yang leka diulit bahagia,terlupa mereka, menangis sehari pun belum tentu dapat sesuap nasi.kita merungut anak dara kita lari dibawa bangla, kita terlupa anak dara mereka hari-hari diperkosa.Maka apa kita masih tega meminta tanpa pertama mengingati mereka?


kalau kita tak tergerak, berfikir sekarang, berdoa, berusaha sekarang, apa bisa?kita lahirkan seorang lagi Mu'tasimah?apa bisa? kita lahirkan seorang lagi Salahudin Al-Ayubi menakluk dunia?

The rise of Islam, itu janji pasti.tapi kita?apa sudah sedia?apa persediaan kita?

The choice is in ur hands afterall.

p/s:
-Seruan menutup aurat/bertudung (An-Nur ayat : 31)
-Balasan orang yang aman padahal telah berbuat dosa (Al-An'am : 44)




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